i had a talk with the bf yesterday. he said, and i know this, he doesn’t want two kids with two different women, and then he said he would rather opt out of having a second kid than things ending up like that. i understand, it would be a hassle and a half to make everything work, i get that. but if things would come to that, i’m willing to try to make things work? like we could all three of us sit down and try to figure out a schelude that works for all three of us, try to make it so he can see the kids both at the same time and so he still has some time off and stuff. but he was like, i really don’t want that. yes, i get that, but what are you going to do? if he denies me kids, we really don’t have a future because i want kids and i would rather have them within a few years than in 10 or 15. he knows this too. the conversation got really strange like it sounded like he didn’t want kids but he wanted more at the same time? i don’t understand. you can’t possibly know whats going to happen in the future, if we stay together for another year or maybe 10 years or the rest of our lives, but it sort of sounded like he was willing to just not have more kids because the future is unknown. like no, you can’t do that. no one knows whats going to happen and even if we do break up, i’m still willing to try to make things work. not for us, but for our kids sake. like they deserve a father that’s more than a weekend dad type thing.
i also told him that if we have a kid, we break up, i’m not gonna wait until the kids is three until it’s every other week living. that’s apprently the recomendations over here. like i know how it is now, he can pretty much do whatever he wants (with me or without me) and the kids mom is like locked at home or has to plan things out before hand even though she has a lot of babysitting by her family down. and then he said that every other week living wouldn’t work anyway before three years old and idk that just made me kind of upset you know? like because i am a woman i’m supposed to just let everything go and let him make all the big bucks and live his life like he used to pretty much and i’m supposed to stay at home and work things out for the kid. like no, why can’t we help each other out properly? why is every other week living such a scary thing for him? it’s not like he isn’t good with kids or something.
idk i just got kind of confused and upset and angry and sad and more confused at the same time there. like i understand him, i really do, but i wouldn’t be willing to opt out of something that i know he really wants because he can’t predict the future?
sigh sigh sigh
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Just a prime thirteen when I rode his machine. Tried to keep my body dirty and my eyes closed and clean. https://www.facebook.com/DaevsArt